I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize