my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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