I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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