You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
