Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize