we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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