Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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