I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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