Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
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Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
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I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
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