The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
