dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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