We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
