Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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