you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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