this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
