VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
