I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
