Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
