i don't like sucking hair
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
