i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
