and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
