I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
