ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
