You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
