haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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