nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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