I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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