She said her name was "party"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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