I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
