doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
