man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
