; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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