he puts the penis in happiness.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize