Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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