I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
