I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
