So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
