i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
