We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
