his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
