i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
please come you make the beer taste better
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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