spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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