Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Randomize
