I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
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A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is classic penis vs brain.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Just puked most of my soul out..
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