my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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