If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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