She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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