dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
His hands were made for my vagina.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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