then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize