Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
