it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
