I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
