In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
