I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
