i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
