grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We talked him into tasing himself.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
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