so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
