I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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