Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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