Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
