sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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